Under Water
by GrandHart
Summary: Tweek has moved on from Craig Tucker. He is in a relationship and has a job. Craig not even on his life anymore. Yet he still feels trapped by his old High School crush.
1. Chapter 1

I would be lying If I said I didn't think about him once in a while… No I think about him often. I wouldn't ever say it out loud especially not to Kenny. But he is usually in my mind. I look for him at school. I day dream about him. I hate it I hate myself for doing it. I came out gay, he wasn't. He broke up with me and I was alone. I felt low and scared. But Kenny was there. Kenny started dating me. I wasn't the scorn anymore I was Kenny boyfriend. Even still, I couldn't stop thinking about Craig Tucker.

That was years ago and yet that statement still seems to mean something to me today.

"I'm a douche bag aren't I?" I said looking up from my plate at Stan and Kyle. We were at our usual diner. We sat at a booth by the window that showed the noisy city in motion. It was lunch time for us and we had gotten off on lunch break to meet and talk about the shit of life.

"You are a douche bag. But why bring that up now?" Kyle asked putting down his sandwich.

"I went on his Facebook last night." I sighed. I lifted my hands to my chest. "I kept staring at that thing he's dating. Ya know with her perky tits." I felt the words drop out of my mouth with disgust.

Stan chuckled and Kyle just stared back bored.

"They will probably get married one of these days, we are at the age were people do that. Even still…" I looked out the window. "If there was a slight chance, even a slight chance. I would leave Kenny for him." I shook my head in disgust. "I am an asshole."

"Yes you are Tweek." Kyle said in a matter of fact tone. "I doubt Craig is even the same person after all these years. You are just chasing some fantasy that you made in your head."

I was still facing the window, but I watched Kyle out of the corner of my eye. He was right and I needed him to keep reminding me of it.

"I don't know why you are still with Kenny. All you guys do is fight. How many times has he cheated on you?" Stan chimed in.

I turned my body back towards them and reached for my coffee. "Eh, that was in the past."

"I would think that's very mature of you for saying, if that wasn't the same attitude you had when you found out." Stan pushed.

I let a smile creep on my face. "How's the divorce going Stan?"

"Shit." Stan eased. "But at least I know it will be over soon."

I turned my attention to Kyle. "How's Wendy?"

"Fine." Kyle said back. He tensed. There was more to the story then Kyle would ever let on. Kyle wasn't one to air out his dirty laundry.

"You have Stan sloppy seconds." I turned and looked at Stan. "And you are going through a divorce with a real nightmare of a woman." I let out a laugh before taking a swig from my coffee. "Why am I getting relationship advice from you douche bags again?"

"Because your too embarrassed to write in to Cosmo magazine with your bullshit." Stan smiled. I smiled and shrugged back.

Passersby might cringe at the bleak way we talked to each other. But that was our relationship, we never sugar coated anything. We have all been through shit, bad jobs, family drama and horrible relationships. We all been through it, we don't judge each other and we say how we feel about it. I think that's why we keep coming back to the café on our lunch breaks. We never set up our meeting we just keep going back. I guess in the end, all we want is some hard realties from people we know who won't bullshit us with Hollywood crap. If you could see the bruises and wounds that life had given us you would understand.

I looked down at my watch. "Well ladies," I let out a breath. "It's been fun."

"Leaving so soon? You haven't even heard what Kyle boss did today." Stan smiled. Kyle just picked up his cup. Kyle barely talked at our lunch gathering, even still we knew all of his heart ache from the little he gave us. Bottom line Kyle main misery was his shitty job. Yet Kyle would never say it out loud.

"Would love to, but we all know you can't afford my rates."

"Can you afford Kenny's? Stan eyebrow raised. He loved to play along. He didn't mean anything by it except wanting to be a troll.

I threw down some dollar bills. "Give my best to the misses."

I heard a couple of groans from behind me as I turned to leave. I was heading to the door my head filling with the mountain of work I had on my desk. I reached out to the door of the diner to leave and at that very moment the door was jerked away from me by someone entering. My eyes slowly looked up. Then they were locked. Staring back at me was Craig Tucker.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm home." I called into the apartment as I walked in.

"Hey." I heard call back.

I walked further into the apartment and found Kenny lounging on the sofa scrolling through his phone.

"How was work?" He asked not moving his eyes from his phone.

I walked into the Kitchen "Oh you know." I called back as I grabbed some left over from the fridge. Tuesday where Kenny night to cook, but Kenny hated cooking so Tuesday became left over nights. I threw the left overs into the microwave. "Oh, guess who I saw today."

"Who?" Kenny asked back.

"Craig Tucker." I said leaning on the counter looking out into the living room.

Kenny looked up with a smile. "No shit? What you say to the bastard?"

"Nothing, I had to get to work." I said scratching my head.

"Really?" Kenny coaxed his head. "After what he did to you? That was your moment to give him a piece of you mind."

"Ehh." I waved my hand like I didn't care.

"How did he look?" Kenny continued.

I turned to the now beeping microwave. "Oddly… happy."

"Happy?" Kenny asked back.

"Yeah, it was weird I have never seen him…"

"Happy?" Kenny finished.

"Yeah, weird, right?" I grabbed my food and walked over to the couch.

"Was he flipping you off?" Kenny asked.

I shooked my head no.

"Well, maybe he is happy." Kenny went back to looking at his phone. "Maybe he found someone to get that stick out of his ass."

"Yeah…" I began to lose myself in thought.

I felt arms wrap around me. I looked over and saw Kenny holding me. "Hey, want to go to the club tonight?"

"It's Tuesday." I said back confused.

"Yeah, but my friend finally got the DJ job there. They gave him Tuesday, so I thought we should go and support him."

"I don't know Kenny…" I ran my hand through my hair.

"If you are tired I could just go." Kenny said back.

I looked over at Kenny. I didn't trust him for a second, but there wasn't any way I could say no. He was going to do what he wanted.

"Sure." I nodded. "Go, I'll wait up for you."

"Well, alright but if you want come meet me down at the club." Kenny jumped up off the couch. After running to the bathroom, he was out the door. I heard the door close and my eyes dropped.

"What am I doing?" I asked myself in the empty apartment. Why was I still with Kenny? We barely saw each other anymore. He had an active social life and I was going through life like a zombie. I am not sure if I was happy with any aspect of my life. But I wasn't necessarily depressed either. Just complacent. I was getting to that age where the sky seems so low and you just keep asking yourself. "Is this it out of life?"

"What was that?" Kenny called from the door. He had come back to grab his watch he forgot.

I looked over at him. Kenny was always there for me. He helped me through some bad parts of my life. Maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough.

"You know what Kenny, I will go out with you tonight."

"You sure?" Kenny walked back out. "Don't you have work early tomorrow?"

"Eh, maybe I will call out tomorrow." I smiled at him.

"Alright then." Kenny smile crept along his face. "But don't say I didn't warn you. Tonight, you can't be a stick in the mud."

I felt my stomach cringe but I nodded.

"Let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

Kenny was somewhere in the mosh pit of people on the dance floor. I looked out on the floor of bodies dancing, feeling the anxiety fill me. We were at "Neon" the most popular gay bar in town. His friend was at the DJ table calling out to the crowd. I was surprised how busy it was for a Tuesday. I kept looking down at my watch and seeing the hand tick away. By this time normally I would be asleep. Instead I was here, forcing myself to have a "good time". What was I doing?

"Hey baby!"

I felt Kenny arms wrap around me.

"How's my stick in the mud doing?" Kenny mused.

"I am not being a stick in the mud, I am here, I have a drink." I said raising it.

"You look like you are at a funeral. C'mon, come dance." Kenny pulled on my arm.

"In a bit." I tried to buy myself time. I was not a dancer by any means, but I couldn't have said that. Why else do you go to a club if you aren't going to dance.

Kenny gave me a look. He leaned over to me and whispered. "Hey, you are going to get lucky tonight." Kenny winked at me.

I just looked at him suspicious. I wanted to say are you sure with me. But I held my tongue and just nodded. "I need to use the restroom."

Kenny sighed and let me go. I began working my way through the club. I got to a secluded area and looked out at the mass amount of people grinding on the floor and sighed. I felt alien, or worse too old for this. I didn't know where my life went but it felt like it zoomed past me, and now I was a Zombie. Slave to my work, my apartment and my lover. While I should be grateful for what I had, it all seemed so fake. As if I didn't really have any of it, just the idea of them. I felt dead inside.

I took a swig of my drink and turned just to violently bump into someone.

"Shit!" I called out. My drink had spilled all over the guy I bumped into. I looked up, not sure if I should be pissed or apologetic. My eyes locked on the victim. He was shirtless, wearing a black half mask. He had some mardi gras beads on him. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Sorry, I spilled my drink on your outfit." I mocked.

The guy laughed. "That's ok, I was getting hot. I needed to cool down."

"Well that is what I am here for." I murmured.

"To hose guys down?"

I chocked slightly. I walked into that.

"Do you come to this club often?" The guy eased himself on the wall behind us.

I looked over at him and gave him a once over. He was really handsome. He was flirting with me. It was sweet, but in my current mood I kind of felt like a grandpa to him. Even though we were probably around each other's ages.

"Nah, I know the guy who is DJing tonight so I thought I come out." I said back.

"Not much of a dancer, are you?" The guy smiled.

I shrugged. I looked over at him. He was looking more attractive by the second. All I could think is 'why is he talking to me?'

The guy reached out his hand and touched my arm. He leaned in closer to me. "I could teach you a few moves."

I felt my heart beat speed up, and my face got hot. This guy and I weren't even the same species, and yet here he was. I glanced over at him. His face was dangerously close to mine. The music was beating heavily, the alcohol was flowing through my system. I felt my breath quicken. Before I knew it, I jumped on him and kissed him.

My brain was fuzzy, all I could think of was how alive I felt.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to a loud buzzing. I reached over and slammed the alarm clock down. I groggily looked around the room. The night slowly came back to me, but the realization of needing to get to work on time came back sooner. I was awkwardly zig zagging towards the bathroom, when I remembered the loud music in my ear. I got to the sink when I remembered how much I drank. I reached to turn on the facet when I saw scribbled on my hand a phone number and then he came back into my memory.

#

Me and the mystery man where making out. He had me pressed against the wall. His tongue was feeling around the inside of my mouth. He tasted of straight alcohol. I clung onto his shirt. He was feeling me up. His hand started going down south.

"Hey…" I said pushing him slightly.

"Don't you want to have some fun?" The man snaked in my ear.

A shiver went down my back. "Yes."

The man went back to feeling me up, but I again push him off.

"Not tonight… I need to get going." I said trying to use my better judgment.

The man smiled and nodded. He grabbed my hand and pulled out of his back pocket a sharpie. He wrote numbers on my hand. "Call me, I am having a party on Friday. You should come. We can finish this then."

I nodded at him and then walked away. Suddenly I was filled with guilt. I remember grabbing one more drink, and chugging it. I knew I needed to get home. I didn't look for Kenny. Just a taxi for home, before I could make any worse decisions.

#

And now I was here. Standing in my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror thinking what did I do? I looked down at my hand and my eyes narrowed on the numbers. I closed my eyes and quickly ran my hand under water.

"I just kissed a guy. Yes, I cheated, but, it could have been worse. I was drunk…" I opened my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror. "Should I tell Kenny?" I shocked my head and continued getting ready.

After I did my normal morning duties I got dressed and walked into the kitchen to get my morning coffee.

"Morning baby." I heard sheepishly from the couch.

I turned and saw Kenny sprawled out on the couch in the living room.

"When did you get back?" Kenny asked rubbing his eye tiredly.

"What do you mean?" I asked turning on the coffee machine. "I came home before you did."

"No, you didn't." Kenny stood up from the couch. "I thought you did but when I came home you weren't in the bed. I looked all over the apartment and tried calling you. I waited for you on the couch. I must have passed out though waiting for you."

I put my hand to my head. "No, I left early because I needed to wake up early. I know I did." I murmured. "Are you sure you just didn't see me? I was on the bed."

Kenny glared. He turned and walked into the bedroom.

"Kenny!" I called after him. I sighed and looked at my watch. I needed to get to work, I will deal with Kenny later. I poured my coffee in a thermos and then put on my shoes. Before I left through the door I called out, "Kenny, will talk about this when I get home." Then I left for work.

I was in my car, stuck in stop and go traffic racking my brain. I went home after my meeting with the stranger. It wasn't that late… I know Kenny was still at the club… My head became foggy, I rubbed my forehead and led my hand towards my neck. I winced slightly. My brows furrowed and I looked at my rearview mirror. My eyes widen as I saw a slightly pink hickey on the back of my neck. I touched it and remember, this wasn't from the stranger in the club…

#

I drunkenly left the club that night. I was trying to hail a cab. I couldn't seem to get one until finally a yellow cab pulled forward.

"Excuse me?"

I turned, a young skinny guy was standing behind me.

"Where are you heading?" He asked.

"Just up the street." I pointed.

"Do you mind if we share a cab. I am going the same way and cabs are hard to flag down at this time." He smiled.

I just nodded.

We were in the cab driving up the street when he asked, "Do you go to this club often?"

"Uh… DJ… and…" I said drunkenly. I toppled over on his shoulder.

"Are you ok?" He asked looking down at me.

I smiled and went in to kiss him. We began making out in the back of the cab. The cab slowed down at the first stop.

"We will only need one stop." The boy said. He grabbed my hand and lead me up to his apartment.

#

My eyes where wide. I didn't even hear the car honking at me. We didn't do much, I don't think. We made out on the couch… and then… I can't remember. It wasn't far from my apartment so I walked the rest of the way. I came home and went to bed. Must have missed Kenny on the couch.

I bit my lower lip, "what did I do last night?"


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't get any work done. I just kept staring at my computer screen trying so desperately hard to remember everything of last night.

"I didn't do anything that bad." I tried to tell myself, but my head was full of guilt and thoughts. I couldn't silence any of them. I just watched the clock on my computer screen tick waiting for lunch. I needed to talk to Stan and Kyle as fast as I could. I needed to sort this out.

I took an early lunch and almost sprinted down to the diner. I got our usual booth and impatiently tapped my finger on the table waiting for them, drinking cup after cup of coffee.

"Been here long?"

I suddenly heard. I felt relieved, I knew instantly it was smart mouth Stan. I looked up and saw Stan and Kyle Standing at the table.

"You look like shit." Kyle said monotoned.

"Yeah, well…" I motioned for the two to join me.

"Nope, not today." Stan crossed his arms.

"What?" I asked feeling panicked.

"Today, we are doing something different. You know, Craig came by yesterday at the same time you were leaving. Well we decided you need closure from this Craig hang up. So, we invited him here today. You are going to have lunch with him today and get over your fantasy." Stan smiled.

I felt my heart drop. No, not today! "BUT!" I tried to say, but Stan waved his hand and began walking away. I looked to Kyle who was examining me. He too turned and followed Stan. They made it to the counter and sat. Stan turned and gave me a friendly wave. I was about to grab all of my things and head over there. I needed to talk to them, but I couldn't because in walked Craig Tucker.

I swallowed as I turned and looked at him. He threw up a wave and began walking over to me. I put my hand to my face. What fresh hell is this now?

"Hey, Tweek." Craig smiled at me. "I am glad we can meet up."

"Hey…" I said dazed, I turned and looked at Stan and Kyle at the counter. They were watching me from over their shoulder.

"Can I…?" Craig pointed to the booth.

"Uh, yeah sure." I said still feeling that this might be a dream.

Craig sat down and the waiter came by.

"I'll have an orange juice, and the chicken salad sandwich." Craig said. The waitress turned to me.

"Just coffee."

"So, you still survive off of only coffee?" Craig chuckled.

I nodded still taking him in.

"Well, maybe it should become a fad diet, because you look great for just drinking coffee." Craig leaned on the table.

"Lack of sleep helps." I said back with a nod.

"Jeez, life pretty busy for you, huh?" Craig asked looking me up and down.

"Yeah, it can be." I said looking down trying to get my thoughts together.

"What do you do?" Craig asked,

"I am head of advertising for Tweak Bro. Coffee." I said still not feeling like myself.

"Wow, so that really paid off. It's nice to have a family business."

I shocked my head. "We were bought by Starbucks years ago, but they wanted us to keep our name. But, I did get the job 'cause I already knew it, so…." I rubbed my neck. I didn't want to talk about my work, I needed to get off the subject. "What about you? What are you doing?"

"I am a physical trainer." Craig beamed.

"You are kidding." I said staring at him in disbelief.

"No, I am a physical trainer." Craig said back nodding his head.

I never would have thought Craig Tucker, an introverted and often pissy mood man would become a physical trainer. I looked him over better. He was wearing a tight shirt that showed off his body. He looked good. Well taken care of. I kept checking him out, the more I looked the more I liked what I saw. I had to snap back to the conversation before there was too long of a pause.

"You like it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I do. I really enjoy biking. I do it every weekend. I enjoy working on my body."

I swallowed hard at that. The waitress came back with Craig sandwich and juice and a refill on my coffee. I picked up my coffee and took a long swig of it.

"So, are you still with Kenny?"

I jolted slightly and spilled some of my coffee. I quickly grabbed a napkin and began soaking up the spill.

"Yeah, yeah… yeah. I am still with him." I said.

"Wow, congratz. That's a long time to be with someone." Craig said back as he took a bite from his sandwich.

"What are you talking about. You still with-" I stopped myself before saying "tits" my nickname for his girlfriend.

"Who, Christy?" Craig asked picking up his glass of OJ. "Nah, we broke up a while ago."

I looked up at Craig who was now taking a drink from his glass of OJ. "Really? I thought I saw on your facebook you were still together?"

"Facebook? Man, I haven't been on there for years." Craig murmured.

I suddenly felt like a rock fell in stomach.

"So, you looked me up?" Craig asked tilting his head again and examining me.

I felt hot. "No, I mean sometimes. I liked to see how all our old class mates are doing-" I wonder if that sounded lame or desperate. Like I spend my free time looking in on people lives. I bit my lower lip.

"I should do that. Try and get in contact with some of our old friends." Craig looked out the window. There was a pause before he started talking again. "But, no I have been single for a while now. I got engaged to Christy, and I remember one day, I was on our bed and I asked myself, "Am I happy?" Not just at moments, but overall am I happy. And I wasn't. So that when I changed my life completely."

I looked at the new man that was Craig. He did completely change. He was new. I was in awe over him. "I can't believe that. So, are you happy now?"

"Well, I am getting there. Life is about the pursuit of happiness, right?" Craig chuckled and lean back.

"Yeah." I said back and looked down. My head began spinning.

*BZZZZ*

I looked up and Craig had his phone in his hand. He wore a frown as he looked at it.

"Hey, I have to go. Shit, I really don't want to. I wanted to catch up some more but…" Craig looked trouble.

"If it is an emergency, it can't be helped." I said reassuring him. "Plus, we can get together again."

"Yeah?" Craig looked up eagerly.

"Sure, why not. Maybe we can bike together." I laughed.

Craig smiled. "I would love to, here take my number. We can do it this weekend." Craig pulled out a business card.

"This weekend?" I tried.

*BZZZZ*

"Sorry, I have to get going." Craig said. He pulled out a couple of bills and threw them on the table. He then chugged the OJ. He got out of the booth and put a hand on my shoulder. "It was really nice to see you again Tweek."

"Likewise" I said back.

Then Craig turned and began walking away. I looked after the guy who completely changed and wonder if any bit of old Craig remained. When Craig was almost to the door a man in a hurry ran into him. Craig turned to him and flipped him the bird.

I felt a faint smile cross my face.


	6. Chapter 6

I watched after Craig as he left the restaurant. I kept staring my mind blank.

"How was it?"

I turned and saw Stan face smiling down at me.

I didn't answer just stared back at him, numb.

"Fascinating." Stan said annoyed. "Well, I need to run back to my office. But, I will grill you about this more tomorrow."

Stan turned and began leaving he turned his head. "Kyle, make sure not to let him get off easy."

I took a swig of my coffee, and watched as Kyle. Stan left the restaurant, and Kyle and I were left. We stared at each other for a few seconds.

"You cheated on Kenny." Kyle finally said.

My eyes bulge slightly as I was brought back to reality. "How did you-"

"I recognize the signs. Guilty look, sweating, hickey on your neck."

I quickly put my hand to my neck trying to hide it.

"What happened." Kyle asked.

"It's like you said." I coughed. "I cheated."

My fist tightened. "I cheated, and I liked it. I made out with a guy and then…" I swallowed. "I got blow job from the other."

It was out there, the truth. I knew it all along what happened I just didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to admit that I was a scum bag.

"I am guessing you haven't told Kenny yet?" Kyle asked.

"No, but he is suspicious." I said scratching my face. I felt nervous. "I didn't come home last night."

"So, what do you want to happen?" Kyle pushed.

"What? Nothing? I don't know." I said back. I hadn't really thought of it.

"Do you want to break up with Kenny?" Kyle wouldn't lay off it.

I stared at Kyle, pleading for help. "I feel guilty. I never could break up with him. Every time we got close, Kenny would say he wants to be there for me. Like he was that day in high school. Then I feel like a bad guy. He is willing to keep at our relationship and I am not. It isn't like being with Kenny is horrible. It's familiar and we have been together for so long. We know each other's quirks and faults. He accepts mine. I should feel lucky."

Kyle leaned back.

"What?" I asked.

"You are trapped. You have been for some time. Kenny manipulates you and uses mind games in order to control you. You don't need to feel guilty. You don't owe anyone anything. Especially not a relationship. You should be in it for love. You have tired yourself out being Kenny prisoner that, you cheated. You aren't a bad guy. Just one that needs to grow some balls and leave. He isn't the best you will ever get." Kyle said.

I stared surprise. Kyle never talked that much.

"Wow." I said back.

Kyle glanced over at me. "I know from experience."

A small smile crept on my face. That wasn't just for me, it was Kyle getting it off his chest. Suddenly, I felt like I understood Kyle better.

"Oh, I guess I should ask." Kyle straighten up in the booth. "What you think about Craig?"

I let out a laugh. "He… He is great."


End file.
